The book translates the wealth of new insights coming out of neuroscience from across the globe, and brings the science down to earth so it can be easily understood and applied.
Conversational Intelligence is defined as ‘the ability to connect, navigate and grow with others – a necessity in building healthier and more resilient organisations in the face of change’. It begins with elevating the level of trust that you create with others and ends with the quality of interactions and conversations that result. Judith contends that getting to the next level of greatness depends on the quality of an organisation’s culture, which in turn depends on the quality of relationships within the organisation and with its stakeholders, and that depends on the quality of conversations within those relationships. In the book, Judith shares examples of how, through Conversational Intelligence, organisations (including Burberry and CitiBank) moved from a traditional hierarchy and power culture to one of collaboration and trust, and became immensely more successful as a result.
Q If the quality of conversation is the foundation stone of trust…what is the key?
A. Listening.
Listening is the most powerful connecting vehicle for human beings, we hear ten times faster than we see. The ability to listen deeply is often clouded by ‘stuff’ going on in our own heads. We frequently enter conversations with preconceived assumptions or we listen for what interests us and we miss out on other messages, or we make judgments as we are hearing, therefore we only remember our version of what was said. When we listen deeply from a neutral position, which Judith calls Level 3 Listening, we listen to connect - not to judge or reject.
This enables us to create Empathy and allows us to tune in to non verbal cues as well as the spoken word. Our questions and responses come from a position of genuinely wanting to understand more fully rather than defend or influence. Connection facilitates co-creation. Research has shown when people co-create, they have greater levels of engagement, they feel ownership for results; they feel more accountable, they are willing to work harder to bring the ideas to fruition and they produce higher levels of productivity at work.
This sounds pretty straight forward, and in reality is easiest to apply when meeting with people you know well and like, or with someone you admire and respect. It is not nearly as easy when, for example:
- you do not like the other person
- the other person shows that they do not like you
- the two of you have strongly differing views or, even more difficult, values
- you have a particularly difficult message to communicate
- you have sensitive information that must not be divulged to the other person, even though it may, at some stage, affect them
- you think the meeting is unimportant, or has gone on too long, or is boring, or is getting nowhere, etc.
In such circumstances, it is vital to work from a position of respect and genuineness…..but it is so easy to fall into the blind spots that cloud the ability to listen from a neutral position. Coaching is a critical support to many leaders navigating this territory. The coach can help the client move their mind set from resistor/sceptic to experimenter/co-creator through a series of conversations, insights and awareness techniques, and by providing the support during the transition process.
