Prior to the work of Neuroscientist, Antonio Damasio, and an increased understanding of the biology of the brain, most theories of choice were predicated on the assumption that decisions arose from a logical assessment of options. Damasio studied people who had received injuries to the part of the brain where emotions are generated; in all other respects the people seemed normal – they just lost the ability to feel emotions. The interesting thing he found was that their ability to make decisions was seriously impaired, they could logically describe or list the pros and cons of a situation but were unable to make a decision. This evidence highlights the significance of emotions in decision-making; even in what seems like a logical decision, the actual point of choice is based on emotion!
At the risk of over simplification the brain has 3 areas:
Reptilian brain which controls the body’s vital functions such as heart rate, breathing, body-temperature and balance.
Cortical brain (often called rational brain) which is the seat of our conscious thought, language, analysis, logic, stratification.
Limbic brain (often called emotional brain) which is the first receiver of and reactor to emotional data but has no capacity for language.
The reptilian brain uses what it can see, smell, taste, or touch to evaluate whether the proposition is desirable or undesirable, the limbic brain then responds emotionally and asks how do I feel about this? Can I put my trust here? The cortical brain then creates a story to make sense of it all using facts and logic. Therefore, our logical processes could be described as rational justifications for emotional decisions.
So, given that we can’t actually take the emotion out…..what about learning to use it more effectively…….how can this understanding of human brain biology improve our communication and negotiation styles and consequently our leadership capability? The key question becomes How can you manage your own emotions effectively whilst connecting effectively with the emotions of others? This is frequently at the very core of our work as Executive Coaches; in a “thinking hard-edged’’ world ‘feelings’ is not always an easy or popular place to go! However, it is the very essence of Daniel Goleman’s work on Emotional Intelligence: ‘the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one’s thinking and actions.’
The Harvard Business Review has a very good article on using emotions effectively in negotiation; here is a summary of their key tips, which apply equally to any important conversation:
Prior to entering a negotiation, consider how you want to feel (i.e. anxious, busy, calm, measured etc.). This is important because the best outcome to the negotiation depends on your ability to be at your most resourceful. Not everything in negotiation is foreseeable or entirely within your control.
Consider what you can do to create the right emotional state. Business leaders often find this an odd statement, however, science has proven it is possible to influence your emotional state and increase your sense of wellbeing by inducing hormonal shifts through exercise; meditation, mindfulness, visualisation etc.
Be aware of what can throw you off balance during a negotiation. Understanding what gets under your skin can be really useful.
Have a strategy to regain your balance if things are not going well. A good way of disrupting whatever dysfunctional pattern has emerged is to take a break.
Think about how do you want to feel when you’re finished AND how do you want the other person to feel. The Maya Angelou quote comes to mind ‘ You may not remember what someone said or did, but you will always remember how they made you feel’.
In conclusion, as Mary Lamina in her Psychology Today article puts it, ‘Emotions can tell you something about the world that you may not have accurately perceived in another way. They are something to interpret and use rather than an annoyance that you should ignore or control’
